After over 20 years of formal international research on the topic of younger men dating older women, I’m seeing the Cougar dating trend change. I am thrilled to see the last barrier to man / woman relationships finally dissolved and in search of one’s level towards permanence. There are still older women who want a boy toy or a relationship with no strings attached. They may be permanently fed up with looking for something long-term, unwilling to remarry and enjoy the freedom of having a friend with perks where there is limited or no drama. Alright then. As I often say on my Cougar dating site, “There is a lid for every pot.” But what I am noticing and hearing from men and women on my site is that younger men who are not “thrill seekers” or inexperienced in dating Cougars and women who have gained positive experiences dating younger men and do not want to return. back to date men their age or older looking for something more lasting, meaningful, and dare I say it? Permanent.
Yes, my site statistics show that around 90% of women are looking for love and possibly marriage with a younger man. The BBC reported in a documentary that 25% of our neighbors across the pond are happily married to younger men. 30% of older women are open and dating younger men in the United States. Although there are many newcomers to Cougar dating, 45% of women who have dated younger men previously and have no plans to go back to dating men their age or older. I am finding that older puppies, mainly young mature men in their 20s and 30s and beyond, are interested in long-term relationships, especially if they have previously dated or been married to older women. Boy Toys (which is what I call “serial gamers” tend to be men in their 18-20s and even late 20s who have no experience with women, working under what I have termed “The Mommy Myth.” Stiffler’s, “or thrill seekers with as many women as can be preyed upon. Yes, Virginia, 30-year-old male virgins exist and many of them are looking for an older woman to show them the ropes. The interesting thing is that once upon a time who experience a well-rounded relationship with an older woman, are much less likely to suffer from the immaturity, selfishness, and lack of life experience of a girl their age or younger. This is when many Boy Toys convert. to devotees of Cougar dating. As a young puppy. from Atlanta told me, “I wasn’t looking for love. I wanted to hunt as many Cougars as I could and have fun. And then I met this wonderful New York woman.” Love Grand? gone from wanting to climb the age ladder at falling headlong heels with his Cougar woman. I love when people get together and, as I often say, “there is a lid for every pot”.
As Cougar dating is becoming more mainstream in the United States, more and more women are coming out of the closet. I see more women from the Midwest and Southern states joining the site this year than last year when most of the members were from larger cities like Los Angeles. The UK and Canada have historically been “out” and it will be hard to find anyone who hasn’t heard the term “Cougar”. You hate it or love it, it’s here to stay so women are starting to embrace it and define it for themselves. It is losing its derogatory connotation and men are discovering that there is no “one-size-fits-all definition” Cougar. While the myths of wearing the leopard print, the female predator gives way to football moms, secretaries, bank tellers, lawyers, the everyday woman replaces the teenage male fantasy and women are becoming more comfortable watching. men 7 years or younger and saying, “Why not?” And more and more younger men tell me they are falling in love with their Cougar women.
Dating mainstreaming with Cougar is leading to worldwide acceptance of this intergenerational dating trend; a trend that’s here to stay. My members are coming out with their friends and family. Actuaries will also agree that statistically speaking, it makes sense for an older woman to meet, meet, mate and marry a younger man. I recently spoke to a retired Harvard-trained physician who told me that biologically it made more sense for a woman in sexual apex than her to date and to marry a man in her sexual apex. Women like to be with a man who is attentive, loving, energetic, vital, protective, fun, and has less baggage than his older male counterpart. Men love to be with a woman who is nurturing, mature, has a life outlook, she knows what she wants, she is not needy, insecure or superficial. The pots have found their lids. The lids have found their pots!
It’s just a natural sequel and an easy look into Cougar’s crystal ball to see the obvious – there will be more long-term relationships and marriages between Cougar and Cub just around the corner. Thrill seekers, however, do not need to apply.